A LITTLE BEHIND ON YOUR BILLS?

ETERNALLY OPTIMISTIC INC has partnered with one of the most highly regarded, professional documentation experts in the country to be able to offer our valued clients & guests-you- a bargain you won't want to miss out on!

Are you:

1. Late on your Credit Card Payment to Citibank?
2. Receiving harrassing and embarrasing calls @ home demanding payment?
3. Facing a vehical repossession because your stupid bank doesn't understand it costs ALOT of money to replace a transmition?
4. Lost your job because the US Government allowed Corporations to up and run?

"The line of defense presently being put forth by the banks is that it would be wrong for the government to give anyone, especially a defaulting homeowner, a free house. But this is not only a spectacularly dishonest and hypocritical line of defense since the banks are demanding that the government give them the free houses, it is also a direct attack on the rule of law."

-Vox Day

Your problems are over!
Let EO Inc. handle it from here then-Go out and celebrate! Party your ass off and send us a thank you note as many of our previous, very satisfied customers have:

Dear Eternally Optimistic,

I was at my wit's end with the assholes @ Bank of America calling me 5 times per day wanting to know when I would send them another check, even though those dickheads got a bonus that was more than the value of my house and checking accounts combined they just couldn't wait-until I called you! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You must come over and party with us soon! We'll buy the beer!
Ted xxx

Dear Kevin John,

I love you! I love you! I love you! I couldn't believe my BFF when she said I should give you guys a try. At first I was unconvinced that this wasn't just another jack-off scandal trying to get me and my money seperated. But I went ahead and ordered your low cost "Promise of Interest Rate Deduction" form and was SO FREAKING HAPPY when they asked me to fax those letters to them for proof, they just cut my rate in half-retroactive-thanx to your post date stamp, and dropped my payments for two months to say they were soooo sorry!I could just screw your brains out!
Since then I have ordered your more expensive, but definately well worth "Articles of Payment", and your PAYMENT IN FULL SUMMARY.
Again thank you very much!
Susan xxx

"The real unemployment rate is well over 20%, and getting worse by the day. Anyone who tells you the official government figure of 9.6% is a liar."

-Economic Rant

PRODUCTS WE OFFER:(Complete with full documentation /official business form pursuant to company info supplied)
Promise of Interest Rate Deduction $95.88
Articles of Payment (Credit Card Bills below $5k: $229.95, above $5k: $329.95
Special! TWO FOR ONE: $488.98!!
PAYMENT IN FULL SUMMARY (and transcripts from alledged phone calls, letters, emails ect. included): $567.99
LANDLORD Promise TO SELL Forms : $634.99 (This is especially helpfull if you are late on your rent and are about to be evicted. It will take the courts another 12 months to find out who is full of shit-you or your landlord!)
LETTER FROM CONGRESSIONAL REPRESENTATIVE DEMANDING CIRCUMVENTION: $894.99 (Expensive, but well worth it! It's amazing how much weight these slime filled politicians have, but we make that work for us!It doesn't have to be your late payments but anything that might bring you future cash! Be creative!)

So act now!*** Dont' delay!*** These products will not last!
Call a qualified Eternally Optimistic Resolution/Documentation Specialist TODAY!
1 Commercial Place, Norfolk VA 23456 - (800) 432-1000

The latest rogue wave broke about ten days ago, when an orgy of foreclosure revealed massive irregularities in mortgage contracts and property titles, suggesting a slovenliness so arrant and broad that even the states' attorneys general woke from their narcoleptic raptures of golf to shut down transfers of distressed property.

-James Howard Kunstler

What does a Trillion Dollars Look Like?

Pretty cool item from Deliveries Galore



Have you ever wondered what one trillion dollars looks like? With all the talk about bailouts and stimulus packages - a million here, a billion there - it’s pretty easy to lose track of exactly how MUCH money they’re talking about.



$100
Let’s start with a simple $100 bill - nearly everyone has seen one, and most have used one at some point:



Ahh, hello Mr. Franklin…




$10,000
Now, lets take it a step further - a packet of $100 bills is less than 1/2 inch thick and is worth $10,000. This can easily fit in your pocket and can be used to buy a cheap car or a year of your kid’s tuition:




Vegas, here we come!




$1,000,000
This little pile of cash can easily fit into any backpack and weighs just about 22 lbs. Just in case you didn’t believe that those criminals in the movies couldn’t fit a million bucks in those briefcases, it’s very possible! You’re not likely to ever see this amount of cash in one place unless you work in a bank or are a high-level drug dealer:


What, you’re just gonna stand there? Get the money!




$100,000,000
Here we have $100 million - neatly fits on any standard pallet, weighing in at a little over one ton. You could stash this away in your bedroom and never work another day in your life. No one will ever see this kind of money in one place except Britney Spears and other celebrities:


That money isn’t going anywhere without a forklift…




$1,000,000,000
Now we’re talking big bucks… $1 billion - ten pallets worth of cold, hard cash. This is more than some countries’ GDP (Gross Domestic Product):


You wouldn’t even know what to do with this kind of money…




$1,000,000,000,000
Finally, here we are - one trillion dollars. That’s twelve zeros, go ahead and count ‘em! One MILLION million, or one thousand billion… This is just an obscene amount of money - the dollar value is more than all that are currently in circulation:


Can you still see the guy in the red shirt?


*Maybe i can get that loan for the new truck soon..