Saturday, December 27, 2008

Ode to the Holidays

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the town
People fretted and worried that the Market was down
They fussed and they stressed over 401(k)'s
And wondered how they would survive the coming days.
The stockings were hung (cause the dryer was broken)
But things will get better: Obama has spoken'
The children were nestled all snug in their beds
The true Christmas Miracle: a roof over their heads'
And I, with my mortgage, lay awake late at night
While the cost of our groceries soared to dizzying new heights
The magic of Christmas nearly gone in a flash
Remembering I'd long since run out of cash.
More rapid than eagles, the bills they all came
I pry open my wallet and weakly exclaim:
"On VISA, on AMEX, on MasterCard too"
Charging off our expenses is all I can do.
With Christmas decorations up before Halloween
It's all I can do to not break down and scream'
But another new year is just round the bend
And the hope our economy rebounds again
So this is your present: a poem and a hug
With a thought in my head of all your cute "mugs"
And our hopes you're surviving and staying afloat
If it's any consolation, we're in the same boat
We wish you a gas tank that's always stays full
And a happy, yet somehow affordable Yule
A portfolio as well-rounded as old Santa's tummy
A great Christmas dinner that's truly yummy
Good times, good health, good friends, good cheer
A safe and prosperous Happy New Year
And, of course, our good wishes, since at least they're still free
Mele Kalikimaka - from my family and me!

~author unknown

*a little late,but deal with it.

Monday, December 22, 2008



So I got lazy and posted a bunch of videos that every normal person saw before Gore invented the internet. Sue me. You have to admit they're pretty good, no?

The reality is that being kinda new to this genre and coming around to view humor bloggers I am in awe at the imaginative and creative writing that goes on from boys & girls that play ball like the old base/basket/football players used to play ball before they let themselves get whored out with multi-million dollar contracts. They did if for fun!

Some of the writings here are better than anything on Saterday Night Live or comedy shops where a beer will cost a $5 note, plus a tip if you don't want the girl to spit in it before serving you.

Anyone that can make others smile in this crappy economy has my vote, and word is my stocks aren't going up anytime too soon. O well, maybe I'll hit the lottery. It's about my time ya know.Then I'll syndicate and buy out a bunch of you gals/guys who don't mind bending over for me and I'll pay you just enough to get you hooked while I negotiate multi-million dollar contracts with Howard Stern.

(Personally I can't wait until I get some groupies.)

I love you guys! I am honored to be a part of this talented community.

Merry Christmas and a safe New Year to all!

Kevin John
Virginia US