Win A Herbal Vaporizer

Win A Herbal Vaporizer

To hell with the vaporizer. Scroll down on their page and check out the HOTTIE with nothing on but buds! HELLO DOLLY!!!

Yea yea, someday I've gotta grow up...

V-on President's Day

Bankers need to eat too.

Little cute girl: "Daddy, I'm still hungry."

Dad: "I know honey. We all are."

LCG: "When can we eat again? My tummy hurts so."

Dad: "Just as soon as we save enough to pay the mortgage."

LCG: "But why Daddy?"

Dad: "Because Bankers need to eat too sweetie."


DO YOUR CIVIC DUTY: PAY YOUR MORTGAGE AND CREDIT CARD DEBTS FIRST!
*************************
{a public service announcement from your friendly Bankers on Wall Street and the London Exchange}
*************************


{Number of Associates that received bonuses in 2009 alone.}
First row: 3Million+, Second Row: 2Million+ Last Row: 1Million+

Bank of America: 28 /65 / 172
Bank of New York Mellon: 12 / 22 / 74
Citigroup: 124 / 176/ 738
Goldman Sachs: 212 / 391/ 953
J.P. Morgan Chase: 200+ / - / 1626
Merrill Lynch: 149 / - / 696
Morgan Stanley: 101 / 189 / 428
State Street: 3 / 8 / 44
Wells Fargo: 7 / 22 / 62
Source: WSJ

In all this, nobody is really that mad yet...






But they better hope the kids don't get an attitude in the future...





credits: Nova (American Apocalypse)

Calculated Risk

Has anyone asked why?

Dear Abby...I mean Dear Allen,

Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.

A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing-your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too?If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

A: Do it. Semen can help you lose wight adn gives a great glow to your skin. Interetingl, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowness with other men. A night out with the boys bowling and ogling young single girls is a great stress reliever and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two(it's a great time to clean the house too!) Just look at how emotinal and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and yoru best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.


Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it on your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to man is very stressful and time consuming.Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should;He shold never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by perfomring oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.

Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.

A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.





Thanks to non other than:...... COYOTE!

Classes For Women Meet Shortly

Subject: Classes For Women



Fall Classes for Women at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By Thursday September 30, 2009

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..



Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.



Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.



Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.



Class 5
Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM



Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.



Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

credit: jm

Everything is OK

Just do it!