Monday, June 8, 2009

Can you spare a dime, er, I mean a ten-spot?

Top signs the Economy might be in trouble

1. You call up your new dating service for rates and they say they have a special this month with matches for your age with interested single,divorced and those just wanting to go out with someone that can afford a restaurant.

2.Your son asks why he hasn't gotten paid his allowance in 2 weeks because you were hoping he would forget.

3.'Sole Survivor' is auditioning families living in the suburbs trying to make it on what junior and Sis can bring in mowing lawns and being Dog/Baby sitters respectively.

4.The POS car you've been riding in and neglecting to put oil into because you were just going to throw an ad on Craig's List suddenly has become a shiny vintage model after you finally put it through a carwash,applied a coat of wax and changed the molasses thick guup normal people would call oil.
It's a wonder what repossession does to make us appreciate the little things.

5.In the good old days an "exciting" Friday night of frivolity used to start with a $90 tab at the 'River Cuisine Downtown', then a short midnight pleasure cruise with drinks and band on the bay.
Today its a 'Deluxe' pizza with all the toppings, a rented movie and a good book before bed since you have to work Saturday because there are 2X's the people who are 1/2 your age, with 1/2 the wrinkles and 1/2 the debt you have vying for your position at work, and your bosses know this.

6. It used to be the weekly glass or two of Chateau Mouton-Rothschild Jeroboam over at the 'Riviera Moonlight Lounge'.
Today its a six-pack of Bud* under the stars, or if its raining in front of the computer.
Gee,what a coincidence.

*That is if you have no taste.Personally if a cardboard box is in my future I want to go out with at least a good imported beer.

7.The newspaper delivery girl is threatening to take you to court and doesn't want to hear your sob story as she tears rubber on your driveway with her bicycle.

8.You start looking for coupons for Spam.

9.You discover that your morbid fear of driving to the nearest Wal-Mart, narrowly avoiding running over idiotic kids and their parents that dart in front; waiting in line for 1/2 hour for the extra 'lunch break' check-out help to arrive; being asked for the proof of purchase from the anti-smiley face gate keeper on your way out then finally waiting 15 minutes to get out of the parking lot without an incident was totally an unfounded phobia.

10.You consciously decide that smiling at the pathetic leering middle-age bald guys at mandatory company meetings isn't as bad as moving back with your parents.

11. You realize you have more respect for the kid emptying waste baskets at Burger King than you do for your financial analyst.

12. You ask your wife to pick up a nice cold six-pack on a hot summer day after you mow the lawn and she comes back with a discounted six-pack of 'fruit-punch' drink and says "we can't afford beer."*

*sometimes there are admisible excuses for divorce.

13. The designer blow-up dolls from Japan you had your eye on are now WAY over your price range. Sadly, a Playboy(tm) magazine subscription is too.

14.Your friends won't let you join them on the "business" weekend getaways coincidentally planned when your in-laws decide for a visit because you still owe them for the last 3 meets.

15.You decide spending money on silly things like Major Medical Insurance* and homeowners insurance is silly because 'nothing ever happens around here' that can't be taken care of.

*Despicable plug for my Medical Insurance agency revenue.

16. BAD:You start 'clicking' banners that say "YOU HAVE JUST WON A 2009 HONDA ACCORD!!"
REALLY BAD: You start believing you might win.

17.You are at the grocery store and decide a few dozen lottery tickets are the best choice between buying the kids lunch meat, good cereal and anti-oxidizing fruits.
Fuck them, they can have crackers.

OK, I cannot tell a lie.Unless you're an IRS agent then I might exaggerate a bit.
Got this idea from a person that is much more cleaner and nicer than I am.
Jim Sinclair from the Silver Bear.
Here they are in descending order:

12. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

11. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

10. I went to buy a toaster oven and they gave me a bank.

9. Hotwheels and Matchbox car companies are now trading higher than GM in the stock market.

8. Obama met with small businesses - GE, Pfizer, Chrysler, Citigroup and GM, to discuss the Stimulus Package.

7. McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

6. People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and are learning their children's names.

5. The most highly-paid job is now jury duty.

4. People in Africa are donating money to Americans. Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, "finish your plate; do you know how many kids are starving in America?"

3. Motel Six won't leave the lights on.

2. The Mafia is laying off judges.

And my most favorite indicator of all.

1. If the bank returns your check marked as "insufficient funds," you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Eager to show action on the ailing economy, President Barack Obama promised Monday to speed federal money into hundreds of public works projects this summer, vowing that 600,000 jobs would be created or saved.

Editor's note: Umm..."Created or saved" are remarkably different terms.


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Ha haaa, I like this list!

Kevin John said...

Thanks Skye!

How have you been?

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Thank you Nurse!

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The general complexities of women's and men's style

Both women and men could feel the pressures of keeping their wardrobe up-to-date and in season, yet men's fashion frequently feels a lot simpler. Of program, for both sexes, costumes and style options can be quite as elaborate, and there are several'fashionable'items which could easily become fashion faux pas - who can say they often times see people walking around in 70s flames? On the other hand, men's style has a few choice things that will exist eternally - which man is likely to watch out of position with a good-quality, tailored suit, for instance? Pick basic pieces, colors and materials and you'll never seem out-of-place.

Why common men's fashion is amazing

The common man's suit has barely changed for over a hundred years. True, there are numerous options for various situations, nevertheless they are all common in their pursuit of a smart, sharp search for the individual. The good thing about common style for men is that it's effectively stylish simply neat. A well-groomed man can almost always look his sharpest in a well-tailored suit, and this is a testament to the design of such clothing. A suit will be worn to work in many professions due to the professional search it offers to the individual, instilling a sense of respect and confidence. Equally a suit will undoubtedly be worn to several social occasions, such as a tuxedo to a black-tie event. This extraordinary versatility which allows suits to be worn in virtually all occasions is what gives it its timeless side and a lasting devote men's fashion.

Contemporary developments in classic men's style

Though classic men's styles can never be changed, it's interesting to remember that shifts in men's fashion trends have brought particular classic garments back to fashion. The recognition of vintage clothing, specifically, has brought back a wide-variety of basic designs into men's wardrobes, such as that of the dandy guy. 'Dandy'is a term used to make reference to men who dress yourself in a classic yet expensive way, placing importance on appearance and operating in a polished approach. This tendency for almost'over-the-top'traditional fashion for men is evident from events such as the'Tweed Run', where men and women of all ages dress in particularly Victorian-style attire and take to the streets on vintage cycles - with most of the men sporting impressive mustaches! This really is just one single of many types of data displaying the resurrection of such variations. There are also numerous blogs on the web which focus on gentlemanly type - such as'The Dandy Project'and'Dandyism'- as well as whole websites such as'The Art of Manliness'specialized in giving articles on common men's fashion and grooming.

In summary, whilst certain issues with basic men's fashion can be cut back as new styles, the essential garments which they are based on will never fall out of fashion.

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