"The No Banker-Left-Behind Bill"
Securitized Housing Investment Trust
HANKY PANKY BANKING BAILOUT
Once the 700 Billion Bailout Bill is passed a new public/private entity willbe created. This new entity will be known as the Securitized HousingInvestment Trust and will be referred to using the acronym S.H.I.T. Once Paulson and the administration get their S.H.I.T. together, all of our financialproblems will be behind us. In addition to purchasing illiquid mortgage assets, Detroit crack houses, abandoned FEMA trailers, and other real estateassets, the trust will also purchase porta potties. Paulson is quoted as saying: " The porta potty acquisition is the crown jewel of our plan. As theUS Dollar reaches parity with toilet paper, left over toilet paper in the porta potties could be a valuable asset. We expect a return of 100, 200 oreven 1000% on the toilet paper asset alone relative to the US Dollar."Most political analysts are in agreement, this will be the largest S.H.I.T. on the face of the planet. No major non-party economic advisor was asked to contribute as the details of this essential legislation were too complicated for the average PHd economic professor to absorb.
"We need to cut through the chase on this." Spokeswoman at a White House forum said. No name was given because she is forbidden to talk on important issues without knowing a thing about them. "We cannot afford to confuse the American people".
President Bush is meeting with top party officials to begin the environmental conservation of all household and rationing of all PPTP assets immediately. "We will not fail the American people". Mr. Bush is quoted as saying.
"As soon as S.H.I.T. hits the floor and the house I encourage every honorable American to support this bill".
"Do NOT take S.H.I.T. lightly-it has the ingredients in it that will transform America's continued role in serving as the protector of peace and democracy throughout the world."
Major CNN and FOX commentators have corroborated their excitement for Congress to finally bring up something as monumentally important to the average American hard working tax payer as S.H.I.T.
Fox's Sean Hannity is quoted as saying:
" I cannot begin to tell you how excited I am that Congress is beginning to wake up and smell the coffee." This SHIT is the real thing ladies and gentlemen. This might be the last chance to get a point across to the evil democrats that the real deal is in this piece of SHIT".
Even Religious leader John Hagee is espousing the important elements and essential passing of the SHIT legislation: "Jesus would have loved this plan folks." In fact, after coming out of many hours of prayer in the last few weeks for the salvation of our country and illumination of plans to keep American and Its friends free and democratic we need this SHIT as much as we need the good Lord preached in this holy church".
I say to you today- the DEVIL does not like SHIT, will not tolerate SHIT and does not want you to see SHIT for what it really is!!!"
Mr. Hagee went on to say that he was encouraged his 8000 congregation with multiple toilets inside as well as outside on the sports field campus would be proud to be a voluntary PPTP member and help the assets of all true Christians and Americans by supporting this godly SHIT legislation that is long overdue.
"By supporting SHIT you prove yourself to be a real God-fearing American and contributor to America's future".
credit due: Les/Smoking Mirrors